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In which I contemplate thinking
Jul. 16th, 2008 11:57 pmI have been learning some object lessons of late in the art of thinking before reacting. I have been reading Joan Smith's column in The Independent on Sunday website (for those who don't know, she is a human rights and feminist activist and writer) and have been repeatedly amazed and amused - and sometimes insulted - by the number of comments made by people who have either not actually read her column or have completely failed to comprehend its meaning. As a result, they unwittingly support her arguments through their ignorance and willful misunderstanding. What happens, I believe, is that these commenters immediately perceive their worldview being challenged, and react with violent verbiage (often littered with the spelling and grammatical errors that mark an incensed writer desperately trying to get their point across before it evaporates from their mind).
Anyhoo, as an exercise in exploring other worldviews, I looked up The Surrendered Wife this evening. I fully expected to react with scorn, but I was surprised at how much sense Laura Doyle - the author - made. To me, it seemed like sound advice - for a control freak who is afraid to trust other people to display any form of competence. This is not me (I actually treat my partner like a fellow human being), so my perception quite early on was that this particular self-help tome was not something that needed to concern me, and certainly not worth denouncing as having given ground in the feminist struggle. The only problem, really, is in the title given to her advice - and the way it is perceived by people who choose not to think. Most people - including myself before this evening - have assumed that a surrendered wife is one who allows her husband complete control over her life. Apparently (or at least according to current affairs programs such as 60 Minutes) Doyle's book has spawned a movement whose adherents do just that - let their husbands make the final decisions in everything.
This, then, is the result of reacting without thinking. People don't read any further, and so they just don't get it. No wonder people are so angry these days, when nobody seems to take the time to understand things.
Anyhoo, as an exercise in exploring other worldviews, I looked up The Surrendered Wife this evening. I fully expected to react with scorn, but I was surprised at how much sense Laura Doyle - the author - made. To me, it seemed like sound advice - for a control freak who is afraid to trust other people to display any form of competence. This is not me (I actually treat my partner like a fellow human being), so my perception quite early on was that this particular self-help tome was not something that needed to concern me, and certainly not worth denouncing as having given ground in the feminist struggle. The only problem, really, is in the title given to her advice - and the way it is perceived by people who choose not to think. Most people - including myself before this evening - have assumed that a surrendered wife is one who allows her husband complete control over her life. Apparently (or at least according to current affairs programs such as 60 Minutes) Doyle's book has spawned a movement whose adherents do just that - let their husbands make the final decisions in everything.
This, then, is the result of reacting without thinking. People don't read any further, and so they just don't get it. No wonder people are so angry these days, when nobody seems to take the time to understand things.
