Frustration

Why?

I'm not too sure why it has surfaced at this moment.
I could give you reasons.
There are many.
Primary one is, somehow not being able to make my body do all the things my mind knows it has to do.
That is what troubles me the most.

But there are other things.

Being the only one who takes any ownership, any responsibilty for maintaining the house in a livable manner. Apart from the landlord, on occasion.

Being cut off, for reasons unpublishable, from the one person I desire most in the world.

Being unable to share my thoughts and feelings, my true self, with the people who should be closest to me.

This is not how I once imagined my life.