Contrivances

I was reminded by someone's mention of nuclear families yesterday of being enraged by a letter I read in the paper some weeks ago. This letter blamed the current maladjustment of society's youth on two things - the widespread entry of women into the workforce, and the contraceptive pill.

You can see why I was angry.

For one thing, the assumption that it must invariably be the mother who stays home to care for children just sticks in my throat. And blaming the behaviour of children on something that is meant to prevent children makes absolutely no sense.

To put my ten cents' worth in, I think we can look no further than the normalisation of the nuclear family if we want something to blame for poor behaviour amongst young people. Children were not meant to be raised in an isolated environment with a limited or non-existent support network, and that's exactly what the nuclear family is. Raising children in past ages was the responsibility of a whole community - in some parts of the world, it still is.

I don't know how I'm going to resolve this deeply-ingrained western social malady when raising my own children, but somehow I want them to be exposed to a wide range of adult role models, to interact socially with other children (preferably in a less contrived setting than daycare or school) and to develop a respect for their fellow folk that is based on the knowledge that their behaviour always has an effect on those around them, that actions must be accounted for and consequences accepted.

I will raise my progeny to have a sense of responsibility in a world of buck-passing.