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Hmmm, perhaps this is why we are all so terminally confused.
http://www.newyorker.com/critics/books/articles/060410crbo_books
http://www.newyorker.com/critics/books/articles/060410crbo_books
Apr. 19th, 2006
In which I get really fucking annoyed...
Apr. 19th, 2006 08:22 pmAll of a sudden people are looking out for me.
Is this because I'm in trouble? No - it's because people think I'm vulnerable. Well here's news: I'm not. So my boy is on the other side of the country. So what? He's left me before. I didn't die. I know how to look after myself, and I know when to ask for help.
I caught up with a friend on the weekend. Some people see this person as a shady character. Even I acknowledge that he has done some questionable things. Because I am aware of all this, I stay guarded around him. I don't permit him to take liberties.
Yet this doesn't stop people from assuming that I am in danger.
Just because I am not super-confident and out there, noising myself about, doesn't mean that I don't have eyes to see and a mind to interpret the things that go on around me. I am not a simpleton.
And neither am I inexperienced in the ways of dishonourable men. I know what it's like to feel threatened when a man won't let go of my hand. I know what it's like to have a man walk out on me when I refuse sex. I have come very close to being raped in the past, by a man who didn't take the first 'no' at face value. Because I know these things, I also know what to look out for, and I know when I don't feel safe.
I appreciate people showing that they care about me. I like having people I know I can turn to when I am in trouble. I don't appreciate it when people assume I'm in danger when I am not. I will not be stripped of my autonomy, treated like a child and denied the right to decide when I need help.
Is this because I'm in trouble? No - it's because people think I'm vulnerable. Well here's news: I'm not. So my boy is on the other side of the country. So what? He's left me before. I didn't die. I know how to look after myself, and I know when to ask for help.
I caught up with a friend on the weekend. Some people see this person as a shady character. Even I acknowledge that he has done some questionable things. Because I am aware of all this, I stay guarded around him. I don't permit him to take liberties.
Yet this doesn't stop people from assuming that I am in danger.
Just because I am not super-confident and out there, noising myself about, doesn't mean that I don't have eyes to see and a mind to interpret the things that go on around me. I am not a simpleton.
And neither am I inexperienced in the ways of dishonourable men. I know what it's like to feel threatened when a man won't let go of my hand. I know what it's like to have a man walk out on me when I refuse sex. I have come very close to being raped in the past, by a man who didn't take the first 'no' at face value. Because I know these things, I also know what to look out for, and I know when I don't feel safe.
I appreciate people showing that they care about me. I like having people I know I can turn to when I am in trouble. I don't appreciate it when people assume I'm in danger when I am not. I will not be stripped of my autonomy, treated like a child and denied the right to decide when I need help.
